


Deluded Deceptions

by Bickymonster, VulpesNox



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anger, Crazy Sirius Black, Deception, Drugged Harry Potter, Drugged Sex, Drugs, Emotional Manipulation, False Identity, False Memories, Gay Sirius Black, Kidnapped Harry, Kidnapping, Lies, Lube, M/M, Manipulation, Mind Manipulation, Misdirection, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Oral Sex, Past Character Death, Potions, Rough Sex, Sex, Sirius Black Free from Azkaban, Top Sirius Black, Unreliable Narrator, Unstable Sirius Black, Walking In On Someone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:15:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29067165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bickymonster/pseuds/Bickymonster, https://archiveofourown.org/users/VulpesNox/pseuds/VulpesNox
Summary: Sirius had never been able to resist James and after 13 years in Azkaban, he found it impossible to stop himself when presented with a second chance to have James for himself. When Harry goes missing, even the Order's desperate search isn't enough to distract Sirius from his obsession.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Harry Potter, Sirius Black/James Potter
Comments: 13
Kudos: 103
Collections: Bickymonster Harry Potter Oneshots





	Deluded Deceptions

**Author's Note:**

> Please note, this story has an unreliable narrator throughout and not all is as it seems.

James’ smile was soft as he reached his slender arms up to wrap them around Sirius’ shoulders. Leaning over him, Sirius, grinned smugly, pressing his naked body closer. 

"You're always so eager," Sirius praised, running a hand admiringly down James’ body. 

“Should I not be?” James asked. “You’re a hard man to resist, coming in here looking the way you do.” He held Sirius tighter, leaning up to press a gentle kiss to his lips. 

"Always the sweet talker," Sirius remarked, lips quirking into a smirk. "Don't you know, flattery will get you everything. And I do mean everything," he added, thrusting his hips forward to drive his point home. 

Head tilting back, James let out a breathy moan, shifting his legs to give Sirius easier access. 

“I’ll sweet talk you all night if it means you keep doing that,” he promised, lifting his hips to rub his naked body against Sirius’. 

"I have a better idea for that mouth of yours," Sirius declared, pinning him to the bed. 

James wriggled, thrusting up against him, the press of his already hardening cock silently demanding more. 

“Please... enlighten me to your plans,” he requested breathily. 

Hands pressing down against James' shoulders, Sirius moved carefully, teasingly, up his body until he was kneeling either side of James’ head, his own erection jutting proudly in front of James’ face. Taking it in hand, Sirius stroked himself lazily. 

"You know what I want," Sirius told him, voice rough with arousal. 

James licked his lips, lifting his head until he could lap at the tip of Sirius’ cock. He locked eyes with his lover as his tongue swirled over the head, teasing him. Sirius groaned in pleasure, his eyes flickering almost shut, though he forced himself to keep them open just enough to watch that mouth on him. 

"Show me how much you love this," Sirius demanded. "Earn what I know you really want." 

James opened his mouth further, wrapping soft lips around the hardening flesh. He continued to work his tongue over the tip, pressing against the sensitive slit as he gently sucked. It wasn’t easy, with Sirius sitting over him but James did the best he could to move along the length. Grasping Sirius’ hips, he encouraged a rocking motion between them, sucking him in deeper.

"That's it," Sirius said as he thrust himself into James' mouth. He groaned again at the sensation. "I'm going to fuck you so hard."

James moaned, using the vibration to his advantage, giving Sirius more pleasure. His eyes drifting partially closed and James’ fingers dug deeper into Sirius’ hips as he sucked on his cock, pulling him forward and swallowing around the hard flesh. 

"I'm not… uh.... gonna last long... if you keep that up," Sirius protested half-heartedly, making no attempt to move away or stop him. 

James pulled back until just the tip of Sirius’ cock was resting against his tongue. He teased it more, lapping at it, sucking and humming, before pulling Sirius forward again, his eyes closing fully as he felt the tip of the hard cock hit the back of his throat. James swallowed around it, the muscles tightening and massaging Sirius as he slid further down.

"Fuck," Sirius said slowly, his breathing ragged as he attempted to keep from coming. 

James slowly pulled back all the way, releasing the hard cock with a soft 'pop'. He looked up at Sirius, his eyes glazed with lust. 

"Think I'm getting better at that," he said, blowing on the sensitive appendage. 

"You are," Sirius agreed. 

James noticed, with no small degree of smugness, that Sirius did seem to be struggling to regain some control over himself. Swinging himself off James' body, Sirius lay down next to him, his breath coming in needy gasps as his hand went back to his own cock. His eyes were blown wide with arousal as he turned to look at James once more. 

"We should make sure you get even more practice," Sirius insisted lecherously. "But first…" he gestured to his erection, as he continued to slowly jerk himself off, "there's a problem we should take care of." 

"I thought I was taking care of it quite successfully," James remarked, though he shifted up onto his knees, his own cock already hard, despite it hardly being touched. "What should we do about your rather large problem? I could continue using my mouth, or you could just lay there..." 

James lifted one leg up and over, straddling Sirius. The man was a lot taller than him, making it a little difficult for James to get comfortable at first, but he shifted around until his arse was resting against Sirius’ hard length.

"...and watch me fuck myself on your cock," James finished, pressing himself back against it. 

Without waiting for Sirius to make a decision, James used one hand to steady himself and reached behind himself with the other. He spread his cheeks until the tip of Sirius’ cock brushing against his crack, the tip teasing against the sensitive flesh.

Sirius hummed in approval. 

"As much as I enjoy watching you choke on my cock, I want to feel that tight little arse of yours," Sirius remarked, his hips twitching upward, brushing his cock over James' hole. "Want to watch you ride me." 

James grasped the shifting cock in his hand, holding it steady as he pushed back. He cried out, his head rolling back, as the hard shaft slid into his eager body. Pressing down against it, he impaled himself further. 

"Fuck, James,” Sirius exclaimed through a pleasured groan, his head pressing back against the pillow beneath him. “Always so eager.”

James held his breath, his eyes clenched shut as he breathed in deeply. This was the part he hated most, the first penetration. Though today wasn't too bad, as he had anticipated this and stretched himself earlier. As he started sinking further down onto Sirius the burning sensation grew, and he made a mental note to prep himself more next time.

"I love feeling you fill me," James breathed out. "Going so deep." 

He kept pushing back, taking him fractionally deeper with each rock of his body. Until, with a relieved gasp, he felt his arse flush against Sirius' hips, that large dick buried fully inside him. 

"Yes," Sirius praised proudly, reaching up to brush fingers over James' cheek. "Just close your eyes, enjoy the feeling of me inside you," he commanded. 

James did just that. 

Closing his eyes, he rested both hands on Sirius' chest, lifting himself slowly, before dropping back down with a shuddering groan. He didn’t hesitate, however; lifting himself fractionally once more, he started a short, slow rocking motion. His mouth fell open, soft gasps falling from parted lips as he once again adjusted to the sensation of Sirius splitting him open.

"Tell me how much you like this," Sirius instructed firmly, thrusting up harshly to meet him. "Tell me how much you want my dick inside you."

"Sirius," James moaned, high pitched and needy. "I love it, you’re so deep, I...I can feel it." 

James sat up straighter, shuddering as Sirius pushed deeper into him at just the right angle, hitting that precious bundle of nerves and sending spikes of pleasure through his body. He rolled his hips again, the pleasure coiling in his belly. 

"I want it, I want you," James gasped out, as he opened his eyes to look down at Sirius. 

Sirius' expression shifted the moment their eyes met, his hand shooting up and wrapping around James' throat, the fingers of his other hand digging harshly into James’ hip. James’ eyes widened, his body stilling. 

"I told you to close your fucking eyes and enjoy it," Sirius snarled irritably. "Or should I bend you over the edge of this bed and fuck you properly?" 

Hesitating only a moment, James slowly closed his eyes again. 

"Whatever you want, Sirius," he said, trying to hide the slight tremor in his voice. "My body is yours." Even as he spoke, he once again began to move his hips, lifting himself off, only to take Sirius into his body once more. 

Sirius let out a long breath, relaxing back against the pillow as James continued to ride him. 

"Such a good boy," he praised. 

Sirius’ fingers trailed over James' belly, teasingly avoiding his needy prick, which jerked around with each rise and fall of James’ body. James moaned loudly as his desire continued to build, his head tilting back as he moved faster, his inner walls gripping the cock inside him. And though his own prick was twitching and leaking, he made no move to touch himself; he knew better.

"Sirius, please," he whispered. 

"You need something?" Sirius asked tauntingly, his fingers digging into James' thighs as he thrust up to meet him. 

"I need you, I need more. Please. Oh, fuck! Sirius!" James arched his back, moving faster. 

Unable to resist any longer, his hand moved to his cock in search of some sort of friction. He didn’t need his eyes open to know how smug Sirius’ expression would be in that moment. He knew how much pleasure Sirius got from watching him touch himself.

"Oh Merlin, fuck, Sirius!" James jerked his hips forward, gripping himself harder as he moved, fucking himself hard on Sirius' cock. "Fuck, fuck, I'm-" 

James didn't manage to finish his sentence. His whole body locked up as he slammed himself down onto Sirius, crying out loudly as his hand worked quickly over his twitching cock. His balls tightened and he spilled himself over Sirius’ chest, his inner walls clenching around the thick cock still buried inside him. 

"James!" Sirius exclaimed as he thrust up into his clenching body. 

Gripping James' hips, Sirius held him in place as he brutally rocked up into his tight arse. It only took a couple of strokes for Sirius’ orgasm to crash over him. He cried out, emptying himself into James' still orgasming body. 

Panting hard, James slumped forward on top of him, barely catching himself with shaking arms. Sirius was still coming inside him as James leaned in and kissed him, soft and gentle. As Sirius began to relax beneath him, the delicious tension of orgasm draining from his body, James pulled back to admire the man he was devoted to, the man he had come to love.

"Okay, budge off before my legs go to sleep," Sirius grumbled half-heartedly, his cock slipping from James' body as he shifted. 

James' expression fell. Sighing, he rolled off him, taking a seat on the side of the bed. He was silent as he hesitantly glanced back at Sirius. He was watching him and reached out for James, lazily running the tips of his fingers over James’ hip. James turned away.

"Come lie down with me," Sirius requested, his voice kind and gentle once more. 

James sighed again. "I should wash up." 

Standing, he started gathering his clothing from the floor, avoiding Sirius’ eye. 

"If you wait a few minutes for my legs to wake up, I'll join you," Sirius suggested. 

"Sure you can stand to look at me that long?" James questioned as he turned to glare at him. 

Sirius had rolled onto his front and was eyeing James' naked body. It was flattering and infuriating in equal measure. 

"I think I could manage," Sirius remarked with a grin,, pointedly letting his gaze trail up and down James' body. 

James rolled his eyes. "But you can't manage to look at me at all whenever we have sex." He frowned as he considered his own words. "No, actually, strike that," he amended before Sirius had a chance to say anything. “You never let me look at you. I've let it slide for months, Sirius, but it's getting old." 

Sirius’ expression was hard now, all traces of amusement gone as he sat up.

"You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sirius said dismissively.

"What am I to you?” James asked, too used to Sirius’ evasions to be so easily dissuaded. His brow furrowed further as his irritation grew rapidly. “Did you save me just to lock me up here? To be your sex toy or something?" 

Sirius scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous." 

"How am I being ridiculous?" James demanded. "Pretty much every time you come in here I end up performing some kind of sexual favour. Sometimes multiple times a day. And every time, you tell me to close my eyes, or pin me against the wall, or bend me over the dresser or..." James huffed as he trailed off.

Sirius just scowled, obviously irritated but apparently struggling for words. 

Moving back to the bed, James took a seat next to him. He let out a long, slow breath before turning to look at him, forcing himself to meet Sirius’ eye. Reaching out, James cupped his cheek, brushing a thumb over the barely-there stubble. 

"What am I supposed to think?” he asked earnestly. “I just want to look at you while we’re together. I love you, and… I'd like to think you love me too, but recently…" James shook his head, words eluding him.

Sirius’ expression morphed into anger as he shoved James’ hand away. 

"Of course I love you!" he exclaimed. "I've given you everything!I saved your life. I’ve kept you safe. I’m working every spare moment to end this war so we can get on with our lives together. But you're pissed because you don't get to watch while I fuck you?" Sirius scoffed indignantly. 

"It's not only then!" James shot back, reaching to grab Sirius again. 

Sirius however, brushed him off, jumping to his feet, his gaze heavily with disgust.

"Just tell me what it is,” James implored. “Why don't you want me looking at you?" 

Sirius scoffed. "Look all you want," he declared, turning in a full circle as he gestured to his naked body, encouraging James’ gaze.

James stared at him for a moment, unable to place his finger on what precisely was wrong, but something still felt undeniably off. He didn’t, however, have the energy left to fight with the only person left in his life. 

"If you don't want to tell me, fine," he said, shaking his head as he got to his feet as well, heading toward the bathroom.

"What exactly do you think I'm not telling you?" Sirius challenged, taking several steps to follow.. 

Frustrated, James turned to face him once more. "I don't know," he admitted. Lowering his head, he wrapped his arms around himself. "I just…" Shaking his head, he let out a long defeated sigh. "Nevermind." 

He resisted the irrational urge to flee as Sirius took several steps closer and he smothered a flinch as Sirius reached out and pressed a hand to his arm. 

"I'm sorry, James," Sirius said earnestly. "I know it's hard being stuck in here with no one but your own thoughts for company.”

James huffed in agreement and turned his head away further. But he didn’t resist when Sirius’ arms wrapped around him, pulling him close.

“I can't let anything happen to you,” Sirius told him in little more than a whisper. “It's just not safe out there right now. I wish I could stay with you all the time but there's a war and I have to do my part to end it."

James relaxed into the embrace, resting his head against Sirius' shoulder, wrapping his arms loosely around Sirius’ waist. 

"I don't like you being out there,” he whispered, “not knowing if anything has happened to you…" 

"I'm being careful," Sirius promised. He lifted James’ chin and pressed a kiss to his lips. "Besides, I'm not alone. I have the order on my side now. We're not going to let those Death Eaters get anyone else." 

“They already got Remus,” James reminded him. “And by your account, nearly got me.” He met Sirius’ eye. “Just… come up here and visit me more. Let me know you’re okay?” he requested. “Once, sometimes twice a day, just for us to fuck. It’s not enough.”

"I know. I know," Sirius said with a sigh. "I'll try, okay. That's all I can promise. But I will always come back. And once this war is won, we'll have forever." 

James smiled as he wrapped his slender arms around Sirius’ neck, leaning up to kiss him. And when he pulled back, they were both smiling once more.

“You better get dressed and get back downstairs,” James suggested. “The sooner you leave, the sooner I can have you back up here all to myself.” James leaned closer, nipping teasingly at Sirius’ ear, before pulling back. 

"Guess I'll have to save that shared shower for another time then," Sirius said with a mock pout, as he turned and started gathering up his clothes. 

“I wouldn’t object if you were to join me in the shower,” James said with a playful giggle as he headed toward the bathroom, “though I don’t know how much cleaner we’d get.” 

Sirius hesitated for a moment, debating with himself, before tossing his clothes to the floor. 

"Fuck it," he declared as he hurried followed James to the bathroom. 

\-----x

Bill shivered as he took off his raincoat, hanging it up in the hallway before making his way further into the dimly lit house. He kept quiet, knowing better than to risk waking Walburga’s portrait. He paused, glancing into the dining room where order meetings usually took place, only to find it empty. 

The sound of chatter from the kitchen below drew his attention. Heading downstairs, he was unsurprised to find a fair number of his family and most of the order sat around the large table. 

"You're almost late," Charlie remarked, drawing Bill’s attention. Charlie was close to the door, leaning casually against the wall, an amused smile on his lips. "Get distracted by something? Or someone?" he asked teasingly. 

Bill gave his brother an almost goofy smile. “Almost late doesn’t count as late. Besides, it looks like I’m not the last here,” he commented as he did a quick headcount of those present.

"Yeah, Moody and Tonks are following up some lead about Harry." Charlie pushed off the wall.

"And Sirius?” 

“Where else….” Charlie scoffed with a pointed glance upward. “Presumably he’s hiding out in Buckbeak's room again.” He shrugged. “He’s somewhere in the house at least; he appeared for food a few hours ago but quickly scurried off again.”

Bill sighed tiredly, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. “Who gets the pleasure of going to find him this time?” 

"Probably me. But I'm not going until we're actually ready to start," Charlie insisted. "He was in a mood for days after Mum went up there to try and clean Buckbeak's room. Only Dumbledore was able to keep Sirius from banishing her from the house. And I've no interest in getting myself thrown out before this meeting even starts. I didn’t come all the way back to England just to spend my time stuck on the sidelines.”

Bill hummed his agreement. Sirius had certainly seemed increasingly unstable in recent months; understandable under the circumstances but no less concerning. 

“Let's just hope he gets down here before Moody and Tonks show up," he offered. 

There was a loud clatter from the hallway and they both turned.

“Talking of,” Bill remarked. 

“Yep, sounds like Tonks,” Charlie agreed, a fondly amused smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. Though as the loud screech of Walburga's portrait sounded from the hallway above, Charlie winced.

"We've got it," Charlie told everyone quickly before anything could complain. 

He took the stairs two at a time, Bill following close behind, soon joining him in the hallway above. Moody and Tonks seemed to be attempting to not only battle the portrait they’d awoken, but also the Troll foot umbrella stand, which had been knocked over in the fray. 

"You get Sirius and I’ll sort Tonks and Walburga,” Bill suggested with a wry smile.

Charlie wasn’t entirely sure who was getting the worse end in that deal but nodded his agreement. Still he was smiling to himself as he carried on up the stairs to the upper floors. Tonks never really changed. Though she hadn’t been entirely the same since Remus’ murder; she had been more focused on her job and focused on finding Harry, so they could finally bring an end to this war once and for all. Reaching the top of the stairs, Charlie headed down the hall to the second set of stairs, continuing on up until he reached the little-used fourth floor, where Buckbeak was being kept. 

“Sirius?” Charlie tried calling out.

There was no answer, not that he’d been particularly expecting one. He continued toward the door at the end of the hallway, rapping his knuckles against it once before pushing it open.

“Sirius, we need you downstairs. The order meeting is about to start,” he said as he swung the door fully open. 

The room was nearly empty, the only obvious occupant was Buckbeak. 

A rustling sound drew Charlie’s attention, and he turned in time to catch Sirius quickly ducking out from behind a tapestry. The man’s expression was uncertain for a moment but quickly morphed into a furious scowl.

"What are you doing here, Charlie?" he demanded, storming across the room toward him, hurriedly shoving Charlie back out the door. 

“I came up to get you,” Charlie explained, glancing past Sirius to the tapestry, which had caught on the handle of a hidden door. “The meeting’s about to start.”

"I was just coming," Sirius snapped irritably, as he pushed Charlie properly out of the room and shut the door behind them. "And I've told you all to stay out of this room.” 

Drawing his wand, Sirius pointed it at the now closed door. He shot Charlie another look of anger before waving his wand in a complex swishing motion, silently casting a locking spell. 

Charlie frowned, raising an eyebrow at him. 

“What’s the big deal?” he asked with suspicion. “What exactly are you trying to hide?” 

"I have an impressive collection of porn I don't want to share," Sirius stated bluntly, without hesitation, as he barged past him toward the stairs.. 

Charlie rolled his eyes at the obvious and pointless lie. “And here I was thinking it might be an old girlfriend, with how secretive you’re being,” he remarked as he followed.

Abruptly, Sirius stopped and rounded on him. Perturbed, Charlie held his fiery gaze for several long silent seconds before Sirius turned back around and stormed on down the stairs. 

"A ridiculous idea,” Sirius remarked dismissively. 

His delayed response confused Charlie for a moment, but Sirius ploughed on obliviously. 

“...not least because, despite what everyone seems to believe, girls were never quite my thing. Yet another way in which I was an incredible disappointment to my family. A poor excuse for a Black." 

Charlie couldn’t say this was entirely surprising news. “Old boyfriend then,” he amended calmly as he hurried to keep up.

"Oh, yeah, I have a whole harem up there for whenever I get bored of Buckbeak's company,” Sirius remarked dryly. “They’re all just so needy.”

Charlie hummed sceptically, though he didn’t bother trying to think of another comeback. It was clear Sirius had no desire to be honest with him, and his mind was now busy generating ideas for what Sirius could actually be hiding.

"You've developed too much imagination, spending so much time with those dragons," Sirius told him as they started down the last flight of stairs. 

“Don’t think it’s my job with dragons that has me questioning things,” Charlie said sternly.

"If you’re really that interested, I can show you the numerous crates of Buckbeak’s food after the meeting,” Sirius offered. “I only keep it in there so the twit doesn't eat it all at once. Learned that one the hard way." 

“I just think a war is probably the worst time to be keeping secrets from each other,” Charlie pointed out. “So why all the secrecy, why would you go to such lengths to hide animal food.” 

"Not hiding anything from anyone but that daft Hippogriff," Sirius stated irritably.

"A daft Hippogriff who you’re spending a lot of time with," Charlie pointed out. "That's all. People talk. People worry." 

Pausing at the bottom of the stairs, Sirius turned to Charlie, who was still a few stairs above him. His gaze was hard and unforgiving, the hollowness that Azkaban had wrought more obvious than Charlie had ever seen. They stood in a frozen silence for several long moments before Sirius finally spoke, his voice as haunted as his expression when he did.

"None of you could possibly understand. Buckbeak had been my rock for years, my one constant. We both got used to it being just the two of us most of the time," Sirius explained. "I appreciate the concern, but why don't you worry less about me and Buckbeak, and more about the war and putting an end to all this. Maybe then we can all get on with whatever is left of our lives." 

Charlie still couldn’t shake the discomfort he felt, but he couldn’t argue with Sirius’ pain. 

"Sure," he agreed calmly. 

Sirius patted him on the shoulder, flashing him a forced smile before turning and heading into the dining room. Charlie watched him go with a frown before following him inside and closing the door behind them.

“Sirius, Charlie” Dumbledore greeted. “Thank you for joining us.”

Sirius was already taking a seat further down the table. Charlie headed the other way around the room, taking a seat next to his eldest brother. Dumbledore flashed him a smile before continuing. 

“Now we are all present, we shall begin,” he said, turning to Moody and Tonks. “Alastor, you were following a potential lead on Harry. Have your investigations turned up anything of note?” 

"Nothing," Moody stated gruffly. "The sighting in Cardiff was not Potter." 

Dumbledore seemed more weary than ever. “Most unfortunate news,” he remarked with obvious disappointment.

Charlie’s attention, however, was on Sirius. He watched him from the corner of his eye, frowning at the lack of reaction. Sirius’ precious godson had been missing for over six months and he seemed almost… calm. Or as calm as Sirius ever was. Perhaps even disinterested.

“We shall continue our search,” Dumbledore said. 

“We could talk to his relatives again?” Molly suggested desperately. 

“Lot of good that did us the last three times,” Tonks pointed out. “I don’t think a fourth time is going to change a damn thing.”

“They could have remembered something more by now,” Molly argued. 

Moody scoffed. "They don't want to remember anything. They were happy to see him go and have no interest in doing anything to help find him now. The muggles are a waste of our time." 

“Someone must know where he is though,” Molly insisted. “Somebody knows something. 

“I agree entirely,” Dumbledore assured her calmly. 

“Then we have to do something,” she went on. 

“What exactly do you propose we do, Mum?” Charlie asked. “We know so little. What do we even know for sure?” he asked the rest of the room. 

“We know there were traces of magic at the house,” Hestia pointed out. “And no clear sign of a struggle.”

“Potter left willingly,” Moody stated bluntly. “But not alone. He was with someone.”

“Then shouldn’t we be asking who he would have willingly left with?” Bill asked. “He wouldn’t have left with just anyone. If we really think he left of his own accord, he must have known them.”

“An excellent point, William,” Dumbledore praised, nodding his agreement. “Sirius…he said, turning to the man.

"Hmm?" Sirius jerked his head up, snapping out of his daydream. 

“You were the last of us to speak with Remus before his unfortunate passing,” Dumbledore said with more patience than Charlie could have mustered. “We had no opportunity to speak to him regarding his search for Harry.” 

“Remus...?” Sirius questioned with a frown.

“Did he say anything to you about Harry?” Tonk asked impatiently.

“Nothing,” Sirius declared, looking around at the other Order members with a confused frown.

“How did he seem that day? Angry? Worried? Scared?” Dedalus pressed, leaning forward to look Sirius in the eye. “Even the smallest detail could help.”

Sirius looked shocked for a moment but his face quickly grew stern. Around the table, several other members seemed unsure about this line of questioning..

"He was… strange, not himself,” Sirius reluctantly admitted. “I tried to talk to him but he was… agitated. I assumed he was just worried about Harry. And then when he died... " He shrugged. “I figured he’d had some clue as to what was coming.”

“Knew more than he was letting on, most likely,” Moody suggested.

Sirius’ expression grew horrified as he took a moment to look around the room. "You don't think he was involved?" he asked.

“Harry is a sweet boy, but understandably cautious with whom he trusts,” Dumbldore pointed out. “There are very few people he would have willingly left with, and most are in this room. Did Remus say anything that might give you pause, or reason to think he could be in any way involved in Harry’s disappearance?” he asked Sirius. 

"Nothing!” Sirius exclaimed. “Or I would have said something sooner. But this is madness. This is Remus we’re talking about. He couldn’t have... He wouldn't…" Sirius shook his head. "No.. Remus loved Harry." 

"Could be why the Death Eaters went after Lupin," Moody suggested. "Trying to get their hands on Potter."

“It is worth investigation,” Dumbledore agreed, his expression concerned. “We’ll search Remus’ belongings, retrace his last days and look into places he stayed.”

“I know a couple places Remus stayed, I can ask around,” Tonks offered.

Her expression remained fixed, Charlie thought she was upset. Truthfully he was too; few had fought harder than Remus to find Harry, and now he didn’t know what to think. 

"I’ll come with you," Charlie told her quickly, before anyone else could offer..

“Sure,” Tonks said, flashing him a grateful smile before turning back to Dumbledore. “We should go now. It’s possible Harry could still be at one of these locations and in need of assistance. Unless you have any objections.”

“Not at all,” Dumbledore agreed earnestly. “The sooner we follow this lead, the sooner we can locate Harry.”

Tonks nodded her agreement, getting to her feet, and Charlie followed suit, neither of them saying a word as they quickly made their way out into the hall. The sound of chatter in the room, which was already building once more, became muted as Charlie closed the door behind them. 

The two of them moved swiftly through the hallway without a word, and Charlie gently nudged Tonks out of the path of the umbrella stand on the way to the door. Tonks, however, hardly seemed to notice, her expression fixed into a frown as they left the house. 

Charlie glanced at her with concern as he matched her furious strides. 

"You okay?" he asked.

“I don’t care what Sirius says, Remus would never have taken Harry. Not without a really good reason,” Tonks insisted, her hair turning a vibrant shade of angry red. “Not unless he thought it was the only way to protect him.” 

Charlie hummed in agreement. "You knew him better than me, and I trust your judgement.”

Tonks flashed him a grateful smile. 

“What about Sirius?" Charlie asked cautiously, watching closely for her reaction. 

Tonks was obviously surprised as jerked her head to blink at him. Though he said nothing for a long moment as they turned into a small alley that hid the closest apparition point. 

“What about him?” she questioned uncertainly as they came to a stop.

Charlie bit his lip, hesitant for a moment before finally asking the question that had been bothering him.

"Do you think he could have done something?" 

Tonks looked almost as startled then as she had in the meeting, but gave it several moments of serious consideration. 

“I didn’t really know him from before,” she admitted. “But right now, he seems reckless, and I honestly wouldn’t be surprised by much, Do you think he could have something to do with Harry’s disappearance?” 

"I'm not saying he does," Charlie was quick to clarify, "but something is definitely off with him. Maybe it's just the years in Azkaban messed him up, made him strange and secretive, but I dunno..." 

“You wouldn’t have asked me if you didn’t know something,” Tonks stated. “Spill.” 

"It's probably nothing," Charlie hedged. "But he spends a weird amount of time supposedly taking care of Buckbeak, and he won't let anyone else help at all."

“It could be just a weird quirk,” Tonks offered, though she didn’t sound too sure. 

"I thought that too," Charlie agreed. "I should be the last person to judge their bond with magical creatures...” 

“True,” Tonks agreed with a half smile. 

“I just can't help but feel he's hiding something though,” Charlie told her. “He never shows as much interest in finding Harry as I would have expected, he's constantly sneaking off and when I went to get him earlier he was coming out of a hidden room behind a tapestry. And now he's saying these things about Remus…. "

Tonks frowned, glancing back toward the alley entrance. “If you think there’s something off, then it’s worth looking into.” 

"I just need to know what's in that hidden room behind the tapestry," Charlie told her. "If it’s just food for Buckbeak, then I’ll let this go, but I find it hard to believe it is."

Tonks nodded, hands on her hips as she considered their options. “We need to go check this lead on Remus too; though I do think it’s a waste of time,” she admitted. 

"It's going to take some planning to keep Sirius occupied while we investigate Buckbeak’s room anyway. I dread to think what he might do if we knew we even suspected him," Charlie pointed out. "We might as well make sure you're right about Remus in the meantime." 

Tonks glanced back toward the alley entrance once more and sighed. Charlie felt he understood her frustration. It was hard to go off chasing what was likely deadends when the answer might be right where they had just come from. But for now they had to bide their time. 

Without another word Tonks held out an arm. Charlie took it without hesitation, and the moment his arm linked with hers, she disapparated them from the spot. 

\-----x

"Please, James," Sirius implored, holding out the vial of dark blue Potion. "I know you hate them, but they're working. You've not felt any effects of the curse in months, right?" 

James glared at him, turning his head away, arms crossed over his chest as he pouted like a child. “Easy for you to say, you don’t have to taste it.” 

"And I'm not the one whose organs are going to start ageing at an exponential rate," Sirius reminded, shaking the potion toward James once more. "You know you'll regret not taking it by tomorrow morning if you don't."

James looked over at him once more, huffing he grabbed the potion. “I hate you for this,” he said, though there wasn’t any real disdain in his voice as he down the potion. “Blah, seriously, the least you could do is bring me some sweets, or ice cream to wash the taste down,” he complained, his face scrunched up. 

"You know sugar messes with how your body absorbs it," Sirius told him, handing him a cup of water. "You'd think you'd be used to this after six months." 

James shook his head. “And you’d think after six months of potions, it would have cleared up by now,” he complained. 

"That's not how it works," Sirius told him apologetically. "I'm going to find a cure, but this isn't it. This is just keeping it from progressing. We've been over this before. Are you having trouble remembering things again? Dumbledore did say that could be a side effect." 

James sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm just tired of all this," he said. "I'm tired of being locked away, I want to go out, I want to see people, I'm going crazy in here, Sirius. I do believe you’re looking for a cure, but don't you think it's time I go to Saint Mungo’s? There has to be someone there that could help." 

"Please don't do this, James," Sirius implored. 

"Do what? Be honest with you? Ask for an ounce of freedom? I can't keep doing this, Sirius, I'm losing my mind. I know you saved me, that these potions are keeping me alive, and I am grateful, I truly am. But this," he gestured to the room around him, "this isn't living, this is barely surviving." 

He looked fondly at Sirius, his expression apologetic even as he held firm, determined to see this through, no matter the hurt written across every inch in Siriu’s face.

"I'll keep taking the potions, morning and night,” he promised. “But I'm leaving this room." 

"No," Sirius stated firmly, pressing a hand to James’ chest, his brow furrowing in irritation. “You can’t.”

James knocked his hand away. "I can, and I am," he insisted, narrowing his eyes. "You don't own me, Sirius." He stepped around the taller man, heading towards the door. 

"Why do you always ruin everything, Harry!" Sirius screamed furiously, stamping his foot. 

James spun back to face him, finding Sirius’ wand drawn and pointed straight at him. “What?” he asked, too many questions flooding his mind to know where to start. 

"Why can you just let us be happy," Sirius said sadly. "Obliviate!" 

James stumbled back, both from shock and the force of the spell. He didn’t even have time to dodge, or fight back. 

"... Sirius…" James whispered as he hit the wall behind him, sliding down, his expression blank, his green eyes dull as his mind went blissfully blank. 

"It's okay, you're okay," Sirius exclaimed as he shoved his wand back into his pocket and hurried forward. 

He fell to his knees in front of James, grasping his hands in his own. 

"You just got really confused when you took the potion. You know how it can mess with your mind. Do you remember what happened?" Sirius asked gently, concerned.. 

"Potion…?" James frowned, his brow furrowed in concentration as he tried to piece things together. 

Everything felt jumbled and hazy, as though everything was out of order or not quite real. He tried to hold onto a single thought, tried to identify where exactly he was, but his memories kept slipping away, like sand through his fingers. He lifted his gaze and focused on Sirius’s concerned expression. But that did nothing to ease his confusion, nor his rapidly blossoming headache. 

“My head hurts…” he complained, leaning back against the wall. “What potion did I take?” he asked.

"The one that is slowing the process of the curse," Sirius informed him. "The one you really hate. It's what keeps messing with your mind. Making you forget things.” 

James groaned as vague memories of the curse returned, and somewhat clearer memories of the awful potion he had been taking to halt its progression. And with those memories, others began to return, as though watching his past drift back into focus.. 

“What's the last thing you remember?" Sirius asked.

James shook his head cautiously, his temples still throbbing dangerously. 

"Not sure,” he told him. “The Potions... hiding out here... it's all blurry…” he trailed off, tears welling unbidden. “Oh, Remus," he said sadly, his heart breaking as he remembered Sirius breaking the news. "I remember Remus." He looked up at Sirius. 

"Oh," Sirius said sadly, his expression falling. "I was almost hoping you wouldn't remember that, so you could be spared that grief for a while." 

James’ expression hardened as he glared at Sirius. “If I ever forget that, you better damn well tell me,” he said, grabbing his arm, leaning forward to rest his head against Sirius’ chest, taking a deep shuddering breath. “I would much rather know, than have you grieve alone.”

"You know I would," Sirius said softly, pressing his forehead to James'. 

“Yes, because you’re an idiot like that,” James tilted his head forward, letting his lips brush against Sirius’, giving him a gentle kiss. “But I’m telling you, you don’t have to do this alone,” 

"I'm never alone, as long as I know you're safe here, taking your potions and holding on long enough for this war to end," Sirius told him. "But for now you need to rest. Let's get you into bed." 

James sighed and nodded his head. “If that’s all I can do right now,” he agreed unhappily. 

Sirius smiled sympathetically as he helped him up from the floor, and James gave no protest when Sirius’ arms wrapped around him and held him steady as they made their way back across the room toward the bed. 

“Have I mentioned these potions suck?” James asked with a wry smile. “At least my night time potion has a fun side effect.” 

Sirius barked an earnest laugh. "That's true. And I think you should get plenty of rest so we can both fully enjoy that side effect later," he added with a lascivious smirk. 

“That’s likely the smartest thing you’ve said today,” James said, laughing with him as he allowed himself to be guided back into bed. 

"Eh, you're not wrong," Sirius agreed with a shrug of his shoulder, running a hand through James’ hair as he tucked him in. "Can I get you anything before I go?" 

"No, I'm good for now, but you better have steak with you when you come back tonight," James smiled, snuggling further down into the bed, already half asleep. 

"I think that could be arranged," Sirius assured him with an amused chuckle, pressing a kiss to James’ forehead. "I'll be back in a few hours," he promised as he stood. 

"And treacle tart for after," James said through a yawn. 

"No," Sirius stated flatly. "You don't like it. I'll bring you some shortbread." 

James made a face, however, was too tired to argue now. He didn’t say anything else as he rolled over away from Sirius. 

Sirius sighed. "I love you, James," he said softly before quickly leaving. 

\-----x

Sirius felt the wards shift back into place as he shut the door to their hidden sanctuary behind him, and he stepped out from behind the tapestry. Buckbeak was dosing on the far side of the room, but the hippogriff lifted his head only long enough to glance at him balefully before going back to his rest. 

Sirius huffed at the creatures unwelcome judgement, ensuring the tapestry was fully covering the door before crossing the room and heading out into the hallway beyond. 

He could hear the quiet sound of people taking on the lower floors as he made his way down the stairs toward them. 

“Sirius,” Tonks called up to him from the hallway below as she made her way up to meet him. “I was just coming to look for you. I wanted to talk to you about a few things, about Remus. We didn’t find anything at his house, or the safe houses, or anywhere else we know he’d been, so we think it might be a good idea to go through things step by step with you.” 

Sirius scowled at her and her unwelcome questions, in no mood to deal with further trouble after all the problems James had already given him.

"I don't know anything that can help you," Sirius told her bluntly as he continued down the steps past her, heading straight toward the kitchen. 

Tonks followed quickly. “I’ve already talked to Moody, and Dumbledore, they think it would be a good idea,” she insisted. 

Sirius sighed, realising he had limited options. He didn’t need either of the two overly nosey men digging around in his private life. 

"Fine," he agreed huffily. 

“Perhaps you can show me where you met him last?” Tonks requested. 

Sirius met her eye, making no attempt to hide his irritation. “You have two hours and then I'm coming home.” he stated. “I have no desire to spend the rest of my day reliving the last few hours of Remus'."

“It’s not exactly my idea of a good time either,” Tonks pointed out. “But if that’s what it takes to ensure we don’t find Harry the way we found Remus, it’ll be worth it.” she said. 

Sirius bit back the numerous retorts that formed on his tongue, promises that Harry would never be found, that it was wasting all their time. Instead he simply held her gaze. 

“I’ll be waiting outside,” she informed him as she turned and walked away. 

\-----x

Charlie sipped at his coffee at the kitchen table, while he listened carefully to Tonks and Sirius in the hallway above. He let out a quiet sigh as Sirius agreed to go, and he waited impatiently for the sound of the front door closing behind them a few minutes later. He hesitated a little longer but there was no further sound.

He drained his mug, and pushed himself to his feet. He said nothing to the rest of his family as he headed out of the kitchen and up the stairs. The hallway was empty, confirmation Sirius truly had left. So he took the next flight of stairs two at a time, eager not to waste even a moment of their limited opportunity. 

“Charlie,” Bill called out, coming out of the library only moments after Charlie hurried by. 

Charlie huffed out a frustrated breath, but waited, knowing Bill would just follow him if he didn’t. 

“What’s going on?” Bill asked as he reached him, with a gesture that made it clear he had heard at least some of Tonks and Sirius’ conversation. 

Charlie was uncertain for a moment, but knew he needed all the help he could get. 

"Sirius is hiding something," he stated bluntly. "Tonks has given us a chance to find out what. You coming?" 

Bill frowned but as Charlie continued on up the stairs, he followed.

“Is it a problem that he’s hiding something?” Bill asked. “It could be that there are just some things he doesn’t want a house full of people, many of whom are practically strangers, to know. It’s not unreasonable for him to want a small degree of privacy in his own home,” he pointed out. 

Charlie stopped a few steps up and turned to face his brother with a sigh.

"Maybe,” he agreed. “I hope you’re right. But if that secret is something to do with Remus or Harry…?" 

“Then it’s worth looking into,” Bill conceded. “I’m guessing something led to this train of thought? Something made you think that Sirius could be hiding something like this?” 

"Not one thing, no," Charlie admitted as he continued on up the stairs. "More like, several small things. And a sinking feeling in my gut."

Bill followed after him. “So where is Sirius hiding this big secret?”

"That's what I'm hoping to confirm," Charlie said cryptically as he led the way up to the top of the house. 

Bill continued to follow Charlie up to Buckbeak's room, pausing outside the door, he looked expectantly at Charlie. 

"You know enough not to get kicked in the head by a hippogriff, right?" Charlie asked with a half-grin. 

“I might not work with magical creatures, but I’m not completely hopeless,” Bill shot back, though he did gesture for Charlie to go in first. 

Charlie nodded, pushing open the door. He was mildly surprised to find it unlocked but quickly led the way inside. 

Buckbeak turned abruptly to face him and Charlie bowed deeply. 

Bill stood just behind Charlie, waiting for a few moments before easing himself into the room as well, bowing to Buckbeak before looking at Charlie. 

“So, where is this great secret?” he asked once he was allowed to survey the room better from the inside. 

Charlie waited until Buckbeak bowed too, before turning to the tapestry on the far wall. 

"Over here." He pulled back the tapestry, revealing the hidden door. 

“A hidden door?” Bill remarked as he joined him. “That’s disappointingly unoriginal.” hH pulled his wand from his pocket. 

Charlie reached for the handle only to find himself unable to touch it.

"Some kind of ward," he remarked. "A lot of security for some hippogriff food, don't you think?" 

“Yes, I do think. I also think you should always check for spells before reaching out to touch something that could possibly be cursed,” Bill said sternly, waving his wand at the door to try and find out what kind of spells were blocking their entry. 

"Right," Charlie said, stepping back and gesturing for Bill to go ahead. 

Bill continued waving his wand, his brow furrowing deeper with each pass. “You’re sure Sirius said there was just hippogriff food in here?” 

"He joked about it being full of porn first, but yeah," Charlie said with a nod of his head, "he was adamant it was only food. Why?"

“Because these are some of the strongest wards I’ve seen since my last job in Egypt,” Bill said, putting his wand away. “And that took a team of five curse breakers to get through them.” 

Charlie gave an impressed whistle. "So not likely to be just general storage then? I'm assuming it would take more than the few hours we have to get inside?" 

“A few hours, or simply a key, from what I’m picking up,” Bill said, stepping back to ponder the door and the wards surrounding it for a moment. “Either way, we’re not getting in right now.” 

" A key?" Charlie asked. "Something we could potentially take from Sirius?" 

“Well, we could, or we could just ask Tonks to come open the door,” Bill said with a smug glance to his brother. “She’s technically a Black too, so she should be able to get past the wards without tripping them.” 

"They're blood wards?" Charlie asked in shock. "Who the hell even uses those anymore?" 

“Only those with something they really don’t want others finding,” Bill told him darkly, his expression serious once more.

They both looked to the door once more. 

"What in Merlin's name are you hiding, Sirius?" 

\-----x

James had woken in the early evening and had spent the last hour trying to keep himself busy, not easy to do when there was next to nothing in his bedroom, and every book on the small bookshelf he had, he’d already read twice over. He made a mental note to ask Sirius for some more books, or perhaps request other visitors. He adored Sirius, but he missed seeing other people. 

He missed his friends, though he couldn't recall names or faces, aside from Remus, he just had a sense that he was missing them. Though he supposed that could also be a side effect of his potions, or maybe even the curse he was under. It was hard to keep lots of things straight in his mind.

The sound of the door opening drew his attention and he turned to flash Sirius a smile as he stepped into the room, closing the door behind himself carefully. 

"I brought you the more fun potion this time," Sirius announced as he turned to face him, crossing the room and holding up the dark pink vial of potion. 

James shook his head, smiling up at Sirius and reaching out to take the potion from him. 

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were drugging me just so you can have your wicked way with me,” he said, opening the bottle and downing the potion without complaint. 

"Don't give me ideas," Sirius said with a wink as he wrapped an arm around James' waist and pressed in close. He took the empty vial and tossed it aside carelessly, grateful for its unbreakable charm. 

“What if I like giving you ideas?” James questioned with a devious grin. “In fact, I think I feel a pretty good idea coming on right now,” he said, leaning up to press their lips together. 

Sirius moaned into the kiss, pulling James impossibly closer. He kissed him back as he walked the pair of them over toward the bed. 

James allowed himself to be guided back until he felt the press of the mattress against his legs. Grabbing Sirius, he spun them both around, pushing Sirius down onto the bed, before climbing on top of him to continue the kiss. 

Sirius threaded his fingers into James' hair, his other hand slipping into the waistband of James' trousers, his fingertips teasing against his skin. 

James moaned, opening his mouth, forcing his tongue into Sirius’, lifting his hips to give Sirius easier access to his trousers. 

Sirius flipped them both over. He pinned James to the bed for a moment, before breaking the kiss to slip down his body, pulling his trousers down as he went. 

James looked up at Sirius, his breathing already picking up pace in anticipation. In all honesty, he didn’t really know what this potion was supposed to do, the only thing he did know was Sirius said he needed it. And if he were honest, he wasn’t really going to argue about it, not when he felt the heat spreading through his body. 

"Look at you," Sirius praised, as he slid James' trousers off completely, tossing them aside and reaching to grasp James' already erect cock. 

“Fuck!” James arched up off the bed, thrusting into Sirius’ hand. His own hands fisting into the bedsheets under him. 

"That's the plan," Sirius remarked, as he crouched down between James' legs, and licking at the tip of his dick. 

James bit his lip, his eyes clenched shut as he breathed in deeply, trying not to get too worked up too fast. Though he knew from past experience that he had very little control over what happened from here on.

Sirius took the head into his mouth, sucking gently, his tongue teasing over the slit, before taking more into his mouth. His hands gripped James' thighs firmly holding his legs spread. 

“Oh fuck, Sirius, Sirius, I can’t, fuck!” James rolled his head from side to side, his hands twisting the blankets under him as he felt his hips tremble as he tried to push up into the warm heat surrounding him. 

Sirius managed to smirk, despite the cock in his mouth. He got such a thrill having James come undone beneath him like this. Continuing to suck up and down the length, as he slid a hand beneath James' arse and pressed a finger against his hole. 

James spread his legs almost impossibly wide, giving Sirius full access to his body, his chest rising and falling as he gasped for breath, he lifted his head just enough to watch Sirius. 

Sirius pushed a single digit into James body, simultaneously sucking hard on his cock. 

Sinking back down onto the bed, James let out a long breath, trying to press his hips down onto the intruding finger. He did try not to appear over eager but the potion was already wreaking havoc in his system, making him feel too hot and needy. Whilte he knew he should have anticipated this course for the evening, he was still feeling foggy from earlier and had lacked the forethought to prepare himself properly. 

The knowledge that he was fully at the mercy of Sirius and his teasing was simultaneously terrifying and exhilarating.. 

Sirius let James’ cock slip from his mouth with an obscene pop. 

"You're so tight this evening," Sirius purred, tentatively pressing a second finger against James' arse just enough to stretch him gently. 

“I didn’t stretch myself earlier,” James admitted, taking a deep breath to calm himself a little bit, not that it did much. 

"We'll just have to take our time then. Make sure every inch of you is properly ready," Sirius teased. "We have all night if need be." 

“All night?” James asked, shifting himself up onto his elbows as best he could. His cheeks were flushed, his cock hard and leaking already. “Do you want to fuck me all night, Sirius?” he asked with a smile. 

"Fuck, yes," Sirius declared breathlessly. 

Pulling his fingers from James’ arse, he moved up his body, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. 

James wrapped one arm around Sirius’ shoulders, pulling him down into the kiss as he opened his mouth, letting the older man dominate him, his other hand moved to start tugging at Sirius’ trousers, wanting to feel Sirius’ naked body against his own. 

"Problem?" Sirius pulled back from the kiss to ask, his face splitting into a teasing grin. 

“You have too many clothes on,” James stated, jerking at Sirius’ trousers again. “I don’t care about the shirt, but these need to be off, now.” 

Sirius laughed earnestly. "I see what I'm wanted for," he remarked, though he was already shifting around to remove his trousers as requested. 

“Right now, yes,” James insisted, sitting up just enough to pull the trousers down the rest of the way so Sirius could kick them off fully. 

"You have lube stashed in here somewhere?" Sirius asked, glancing toward the bedside table. 

James growled, playfully, though also in mild annoyance that he wasn’t getting what his body needed right now. He rolled over as best he could under Sirius, reaching for the bedside table. He grabbed the lube and almost hit Sirius in the head with it as he tossed it behind him towards the man. 

"I thought you'd appreciate me taking my time," Sirius said as he casually uncapped the lube and poured some onto his fingers. 

James didn’t bother rolling back around he simply lifted his ass in the air, pressing himself back against Sirius. “Right1 now, the only thing I want is your cock inside me,” he insisted. “We can take our time later, you know what this potion does to me!”

"It does seem to make you even more eager than usual," Sirius said with deliberate calmness. 

He teased his slick fingers over James' hole, just the very tip of the digit pressing inside. 

James shuddered, pressing his forehead against the bed as he took a shuddering breath. 

“It does,” he agreed, unable to explain what it was he felt whenever he took the potion. Feeling Sirius’ finger teasing his entrance had James letting out a frustrated whine, pressing his hips back, trying to get more of the digit inside him. 

Sirius chuckled but obliged, slipping two fingers almost harshly into James' body. 

"Fuck, you look hot like this," he declared, wrapping his free hand around his own aching cock. 

James cried out, jerking his hips forward before pressing back against Sirius’ fingers. It wasn’t as satisfying as having Sirius fuck him, but right now he’d take what he could get as he started fucking himself on fingers inside him.. 

He didn’t dare touch himself though, knowing he was likely to finish too soon if he did that. So he contented himself to holding onto the bedsheets again, rocking his hips back and forth. 

Sirius released his own cock, to slap James' arse, before hurriedly going back to stroking himself, enjoying James' whine and the red flush of his arse cheek. 

"I know you want to touch yourself," Sirius teased. "You want to come, but you want to come with me inside you, don't you?" 

James moaned loudly, feeling the light sting across his arse cheek, it only made him move his hips faster, eager, desperate. 

“Sirius,” he whined, pressing back harder, trying to pull those fingers deeper inside. 

"Ready for more?" Sirius asked, as he gently thrust his fingers in and out of James' body. 

“Yes!” James practically screamed, his whole body trembling as he refrained from touching himself still, his cock aching for any kind of friction. His hand twitched, though pure stubbornness kept James from touching himself. 

Sirius pulled his fingers out abruptly and grasping him by the hip, pulled him closer. He grabbed the lube from where he'd discarded it on the bed earlier and poured it liberally over his achingly hard cock. He dropped the lube back to the bed and quickly smeared it along the length. Lining himself up, he barely hesitated before pressing inside. He didn't push far, just the head of his cock stretching James open, and he held himself there. 

James hissed at being stretched, but that didn’t stop him from pushing back against the thick appendage, trying to get more of it to go deeper. 

“Sirius, please, please fuck me,” he begged. 

"Gladly," Sirius stated, giving no further warning before thrusting harshly into James' arse. 

“Oh fuck yes!” James screamed, pressing back into Sirius. 

Sirius didn't stop, fucking him hard and fast, knowing neither of them would last long. 

"Oh.. Oh, yes, James… So fucking tight," Sirius groaned. "You feel so good." 

James let out a whining moan, the sound mostly muffled as his face was pressed into the bed again, his whole body rocking with the force of Sirius’ thrusts. He never minded how forceful Sirius was with him, not after taking the potion. 

"WHAT THE FUCK!!" 

Sirius abruptly stopped moving at the woman's shout. 

James jerked his head around, partly at the sound of someone else's voice in the room with them, but mostly because Sirius had suddenly stopped moving. 

“No, no, no,” James whined, he was so close, it wouldn’t have taken much more, and he could still feel Sirius deep inside him. Ignoring the woman in the door, for now, James reached a hand down between his legs and started stroking himself. 

"What the fuck are you doing in my room!" Sirius exclaimed furiously as he abruptly pulled himself from James' body. 

"Get away from him!" a guy shouted from the doorway. "NOW!" 

"This is none of your business, Charlie!" Sirius declared furiously. 

James let out a frustrated growl as he lost more of the pleasure, and his orgasm ebbed further away. 

“Fuck!” he snapped, rolling himself over to glare at the two intruders. “Who the hell are you?” he demanded, glaring at the two strangers standing just inside the room, both of whom had their wands drawn.. 

"It's okay, Harry, we're going to get you out of here," the guy, Charlie, promised earnestly. "I don't know what he's done to you, but we're going to help."

"They're Death Eaters, James, don't trust them!" Sirius exclaimed desperately. "They must have followed me." 

“What have you done, Sirius?” Tonks demanded. 

“He hasn’t done anything,” James insisted, not daring to move with two wands aimed at them. “How did you get in here?” he demanded. 

Tonks looked at him then, her expression changing slightly. “We’re not Death Eaters, Harry, we’re part of the Order.” 

"Sirius is lying to you, he's done something to your memory," Charlie tried to explain, cautiously moving further into the room. "You're not James, you're Harry. James died fourteen years ago!"

“What in Merlin’s name are you talking about?” James insisted, narrowing his eyes at the two intruders.

"Stay away from him," Sirius snapped, grabbing James' arm and pulling him off the bed and away from the intruders. 

"Your name is Harry Potter," Charlie stated clearly and slowly, making an obvious attempt to stay calm. "James Potter was your father. He died when you were just a baby. I don't know what Sirius has done to make you believe…" 

"GET OUT!" Sirius bellowed, grabbing his wand from where it was sticking out of his discarded trousers. 

“Stupify!” Tonks shouted the spell off, aiming it at Sirius before he had even managed to pull the wand out enough to use it. 

“Sirius!” James shouted. He grabbed the now discarded wand, standing to use it, only to be hit with a stunning spell himself. His vision faded to black as he too crumbled to the floor. 

\-----x

"Was that really necessary?" Charlie asked, as he hurried across the room to the now unconscious Harry. 

He looked around and grabbed the loose sheet from the bed, and quickly wrapped it around Harry as he picked him up from the floor and moved over toward the bed. 

“Would you rather have stood here and had a shouting match with him for an hour?” Tonks asked, keeping her wand out as she approached Sirius, using a binding spell to make sure he couldn’t move even when he did wake up. 

"No, sorry, I'm just…." Charlie trailed off. "I knew something was wrong but I never imagined something like this." He brushed the hair back from Harry's forehead revealing his trademark scar. 

Tonks shook her head. “I’m still processing what we just walked in on,” she said, looking over at Charlie. “I think we should get him out of this room, both of them, and we need to contact Dumbledore.” 

"Definitely," Charlie agreed tersely. "Can I leave you to deal with Sirius? Not sure I can be trusted not to castrate or kill him right now. And I want to get Harry to a healer as soon as possible. Was thinking I'd take him straight to Poppy." 

Tonks nodded in agreement. “Probably a safer place for him than Saint Mungo’s. I’ll deal with Sirius,” she assured him. 

Charlie nodded as he returned to the unconscious boy on the bed. He took a moment to be sure Harry's naked body was fully covered by the sheet, before lifting him up into his arms once more. He looked once more toward Tonks, who was practically vibrating with rage as she stood over her cousin. 

"I'm not going to have to help you dispose of a corpse later, am I?" he asked. 

“I highly doubt anyone would care about finding the corpse of Sirius Black lying around,” Tonks remarked. She turned to Charlie and forced a half-hearted smile. “I’m not going to kill him,” she promised. “Just get some answers.”

"Okay, just…" Charlie looked at the bound Sirius once more, "... Just be careful, okay. He's clearly unhinged. More than we ever imagined."

Tonks nodded. “I’m still a trained Auror, and he’s wandless. Don’t worry about me, just focus on getting Harry somewhere safe.” 

"I'm on it," Charlie assured her, already heading for the door. 

\-----x

Dumbledore removed his spectacles and pinched the brim of his nose. He felt drained, exhausted; trying to focus on running the school, while keeping up with the daily news of what Voldemort was currently up to, and also maintaining focus on trying to find Harry, was taking its toll. 

Around others he held strong, knowing how much his optimism mattered, but as yet another week drew to a close, with no sign of the boy, he knew it was becoming increasingly unlikely they would find him alive. 

Everything seemed to indicate he had been taken, most likely by Death Eaters , an unknown traitor in their midst, or even by Voldemort himself. The only thing that made him sceptical was the fact that if Harry had been captured, or even killed, Voldemort would have likely become more bold with his actions. This, alone, gave Dumbledore hope that Harry was still out there somewhere for them to find. 

A distinct pop of a house-elf sounded on the far side of his desk and Dumbledore sat upright, sliding his spectacles back into place.. 

"Mr Dumbledore, sir, is being needed in the medical wing! " the small creature squeaked in alarm as it hurried around the desk, looking up at him from wide green eyes. 

Dumbledore looked down at the small creature. “Thank you, Bismey,” he said kindly before getting to his feet.

The small elf disappeared with another pop and Dumbledore swept from the office, using the best shortcuts he knew to make it to the Medical Wing post haste. Poppy would not have requested his presence unless the matter was serious and he feared what may have occurred now. He wasn’t sure how much more his sanity could endure.

Reaching the medical wing, he hurried inside. He blinked a moment of surprise at finding not Poppy waiting for him, but Charlie Weasley, who, at the sound of the doors opening, turned his way.. 

“Sir,” Charlie breathed out, obviously relieved to see him. 

“Mr Weasley,” Dumbledore greeted, as they met part way. 

"He's alive," Charlie assured without preamble, leading the way to one of the curtained off beds. "Though he is very confused and likely to be quite distressed when he wakes up."

Dumbledore’s confusion quickly faded away to profound relief as they stepped around the curtain and he laid eyes on Harry Potter for the first time in six months. Poppy was at his side, casting various diagnostic spells and generally seeing to his care.

“You found him,” he breathed out as he hurried to Harry’s other side and pressed the back of his hand to his forehead. He wasn’t certain what it would tell him but he felt relief at the contact nonetheless. 

“He has endured quite an ordeal,” Poppy remarked “But I believe he will recover given time.”

“Where was he?” he asked, turning to Charlie once more. 

Charlie grimaced, gesturing for them to move further away..

"He was in Grimmauld Place all along," Charlie told him in little more than a whisper. 

Dumbledore was unable to hide his surprise at this news, but Charlie continued before he had a chance to formulate even the first of many questions.

"Sirius had him hidden in a room connected to Buckbeak's. He's done something to Harry’s mind; he seemed to really believe he was James. But what we walked in on...." Charlie shook his head, unable to put it into words.

“It’s quite alright, my boy, sy no more,” Dumbledore assured him with a concerned frown. 

Dumbledore didn’t need Charlie to elaborate, he was well aware of the relationship James and Sirius had once shared. He had also seen Sirius slip a few times over the last couple years, seemingly confusing Harry with James. Dumbledore cursed himself now for dismissing such things as unimportant or irrelevant, for seeing it as something Sirius would overcome the longer he was out of Azkaban, and not something for serious concern. Clearly he had been gravely mistaken. 

“Where is Sirius now?” Dumbledore asked. 

"Tonks has him secured at Grimmauld Place," Charlie told him seriously. "Harry can't go back there."

“No, I don’t think that would be the best place for him now,” Dumbledore agreed. “He will stay here for the time being.”  
The two of them stood in silence for several long minutes, watching Poppy work. Her expression was serious and she seemed uncertain as she moved to join them a short while later.

"Physically, he will be just fine,” she informed them. “He has experienced some minor physical trauma, which I have already healed, but has generally been well cared for. He has, however, traces of several potions, none of which I would ever deem safe for use on such a young person, and I believe there is evidence his mind has been altered using a combination of spells and potions. Add into this the abuse he has endured and I could not begin to predict his mental state." 

"Can you fix this? His mind, I mean," Charlie asked with concern. “The damage the potions have done, at least?”

"His mind is too fragile to magically manipulate. But I am still hopeful. You say he was alert and responsive when you found him?" Poppy questioned. 

"Absolutely," Charlie confirmed. "He was just confused."

"Then I believe in time he will be Harry Potter again," Poppy assured them. “Though you must understand, he may never be the person he once was. These experiences will inevitably change a person forever.”

“Of course,” Charlie agreed. 

“I shall call a meeting,” Dumbledore informed them, torn between relief that Harry had been located, and horror at what had occurred. “For now it would be best for Harry to stay here until we can find a safe place for him to fully recover. If you have no objection?” he asked.

"I have no issue with that. Though it would be best if he was moved somewhere more private before morning," Poppy told him. "Before the first of the students show up, inevitably requiring my help."

"I can stay with him for now if you have things to tend to," Charlie offered. 

"I am sure he would appreciate that," Poppy said. 

Charlie nodded, flashed Dumbledore a somewhat forced smile before heading over to join Harry. 

Poppy turned back to the headmaster. "A private word before you go?" she requested. 

“Of course,” Dumbledore said, following Poppy over further away from the bed where Harry was still sleeping. 

\-----x

Harry gasped, abruptly sitting up in bed, his flight or fight reflexes still on high alert after being stunned. He jerked his head around, barely seeing anything but noticing enough to realise he wasn’t sure where he was. It was familiar but the memories were hard to place and everything was out of focus without his glasses.

"You're at Hogwarts, in the medical wing," someone told him gently, placing the glasses into his hand and stepping away.. 

Harry jolted around to stare at where the voice had come from. Hastily shoving his glasses onto his face the world swam into focus and his eyes narrowing as he recognised the man sitting at his bedside. The red-headed man, Charlie he recalled, was infuriatingly calm and seemingly unconcerned given everything.

“Where’s Sirius? What have you done?” Harry demanded, his eyes darting around for a possible escape. 

"Sirius is fine," Charlie told him. "Do you remember what happened?" 

“Yes, I remember,” Harry snapped. “You attacked us.”

"I know it must seem that way, but we really were only trying to protect you," Charlie insisted. "Sirius was lying to you, Harry." 

“Stop calling me that! I don’t know who ‘Harry’ is, but I’m James!” Harry raged. 

“I understand that you’re confused but Sirius was lying, Harry,” Charlie told him again. “He literally poisoned your mind.”

“You’re the one whose confused! I’m not Harry. And he would never do that to me,” Harry argued, moving to roll out of bed away from Charlie. 

"No, no, please don't," Charlie implored, as he jumped to his feet and rushed around in an attempt to keep Harry in the bed. 

Harry, however, was quick, and rolled back the other way, slipping from the bed with a seeker’s grace. His legs, however, could barely hold him and the sudden change of direction made his head swim, and he had a moment of panic as the floor came up to meet him. 

But Charlie was there, catching him, easing him back down onto the edge of the bed, maintaining his hold only long enough to ensure Harry wasn’t about to topple over again. . 

"You've been through a lot and your body is trying to detox from all the potions he had you take,” Charlie explained, while Harry was still trying to still his churning stomach. “And I'm sorry, but I think that Sirius lied a lot," he added, sounding sincerely sympathetic.

It took Harry a moment to process what he was hearing but then he felt his panic return. 

“Detox?!” he exclaimed. “No! I need those potions. They’re all that’s keeping the curse from killing me!” 

“There is no curse,” Charlie insisted, staying close as though worried Harry would try to get up from the bed again, though he made no move to touch him.

“Of course there is!” Harry argued. However, the thought was struck from his mind as pain stabbed behind his eyes. He cried out, cradling his head as his temples throbbed in protest. 

“There was never a curse,” Charlie told him sadly, pressing a cold pad to the back of his neck. “Sirius just told you that as an excuse to drug you, to control you, to make you dependent on him.”

Harry wanted to push the man away, call him the liar but the relief was too profound in that moment to care. 

“This pain is because you’re crashing from some high doses of a potion which never should have been used on someone so young, let alone for such an extended period,” Charlie explained. “It could have caused irreparable brain damage.”

As calm and reasonable as Charlie sounded, Harry didn’t want to hear it. It threw too many other things into question. But he couldn’t help but listen as Charlie’s soothing voice gave his twisted version of events. 

“You will need to keep taking one of the potions for the time being, until we can bring you off it safely, but the other, the one that is causing you this pain right now, was to make you compliant, make you susceptible to his manipulations. Sirius is a very sick man, Harry.”

“No, I don’t believe you,” Harry argued, pushing Charlie away once more, ignoring the way the pain as it spiked again “You don’t even know who I am. Where’s Sirius? I want to see him. He’ll explain everything.”

“Sirius isn’t coming,” Charlie stated bluntly. 

“Dumbledore then!” Harry argued desperately, feeling panic encroaching on him as he tried to understand the world he suddenly found himself in. “We’re at Hogwarts, right? So he must be here. He’ll tell you. He helped Sirius find the potions in the first place. You’ll see. You’re just confused.”

“He’s already seen you Harry but will be back in a few hours if you want to talk to him then,” Charlie offered. “But he had nothing to do with the potions you were given, he didn’t even know you were with Sirius. None of us did. We’ve been looking for you for months.”

Harry felt his eyes well with tears, exhaustion and confusion overwhelming him. 

“I know it’s hard to believe, but maybe I can help you see who you really are?” Charlie offered. 

“How?” Harry asked sceptically, brushing away the unfallen tears, eager for tangible proof either way. He just wanted some kind of certainty to hold on to, something to ground him in reality.

Charlie considered for several long moments before returning to his seat. 

“What colour are your eyes?” he asked. 

“Brown,” Harry stated without hesitation. “What does that have to do with anything?”

Charlie drew his wand and for a moment Harry felt panic, knowing he was incapable of fleeing in his current condition, but Charlie pointed it at the goblet of water on his bedside table.

“Speculo Verto,” he said softly.

The goblet shifted, leaving a small mirror in its place, and Charlie pocketed his wand once more. 

“Go ahead,” Charlie encouraged. “See for yourself.”

Harry hesitated for a long moment before reaching out and picking it up, still it took several moments to find the courage to look into its depths, uncertain what he might see, or even what he wanted the truth to be. 

His eyes widened as he saw the reflection. Those vibrant green eyes peered back from such a young face, similar to the one he had expected; the same messy black hair, the same nose, but those eyes were not his at all and the shape of his face felt just wrong, as though it had been badly drawn from memory. 

“What did you do to me?” Harry demanded to know, turning to look back to Charlie. 

“This is how you’ve always looked,” Charlie told him calmly. “The person you expected to see is an implanted memory of your own father. I am sure we can find some pictures of him somewhere if you would like that. But for now, it’s very important that you understand who you are, Harry.”

“No, that doesn’t make sense,” Harry said, his head throbbing once more, blood pulsing in his ears. 

The mirror fell from his hand and smashed at his feet as he grasped his own head, whimpering in pain. 

“Make it stop,” he implored, sobbing with the pain and confusion he felt. 

“You’re okay,” Charlie told him, pressing the cold pad to the back of his neck once more. “We’re not going to let anything happen to you.”

Again the pain eased but this time it brought clarity more than relief. Memories came into focus, flashes of people he didn’t know but knew he once had. A family of red-heads, a bushy-haired girl, a giant of a man and so many more. Each one tore through him like a barrage of grief.

“No. Make it stop. It’s not true, I’m James!” Harry insisted, hysterical now. “Make it stop.”

"You're okay, you're going to be okay," Charlie told him firmly, allowing Harry to rest against him. "That's the potions and spells talking, it's the memories Sirius put in your head fighting against your real memories. Let yourself remember." 

Harry shook his head. “No, stop calling me that, I’m James, I’m…” Harry hunched over more, pressing his hands against his eyes to stop the tears that were forming and threatening to spill over. “I want Sirius.”

"I would love to give you everything you want right now, but that's just not going to happen," Charlie stated. "You saw yourself, you saw how young you are, you saw your eyes, and there's no mistaking that scar on your head. I can't imagine how scared you are right now, but your name is Harry Potter."

Harry pushed Charlie away from him, though there was a lot less force than there had been the other times, and one of his hands fisted in Charlie’s robes, holding onto him. “I’m not, I can’t, Sirius, he wouldn’t, he… he,” Harry opened his eyes to look at Charlie. “What’s happening to me?”

"Your brain is trying to be two people at once," Charlie told him apologetically. "The sooner you accept that you're actually Harry, the easier and quicker this will go. I'm sorry, I wish there was an easier way, but Poppy doesn't want to mess around with your mind, when Sirius has already done so much damage." 

“I don’t want this, Charlie, I don’t want this,” Harry said, closing his eyes again. 

"I know." Charlie's voice was full of sympathy, his own tears falling now. "You didn't ask for, or deserve, any of this. But you're strong, Harry, you can get through this."

“I don’t, I can’t...” Harry shuddered, shaking his head, leaning forward more until his head was rested on Charlie’s shoulder, his breathing picking up pace. 

"Just breathe, Harry, I'm not going to let anything happen to you," Charlie promised softly as he rubbed small circles on his back. 

Harry’s hand fisted in Charlie’s robes tighter, his breathing becoming more laboured as he tried to process everything, he was James, he knew who he was, yet at the same time, somewhere in the back of his mind he also knew he was Harry. And whoever he was, he had been with Sirius, he loved Sirius. 

"It's going to be okay," Charlie assured him. "Just keep breathing and it'll all be okay."

“It’s not! It’s not okay! NOTHING is okay!” Harry screamed, hitting his fist against Charlie’s shoulder before repeating the action. 

"Oh goodness," Madam Pomfrey exclaimed as she came bustling out of her office. "Sit up, dear," she instructed, attempting to pry Harry from Charlie's body. 

Harry pushed her away, before returning to clinging to Charlie. It was the only thing Harry could really think to do, Charlie was something solid to hold onto, something strangely familiar and safe. 

"Calming draught," Madam Pomfrey said, handing a vial over to Charlie. 

"Can you drink this for me?" Charlie asked, accepting it and lowering it into Harry's line of sight. "Just a calming draught, nothing more. I promise." 

Harry felt weak and shaky, and physically sick to his stomach, letting out a choked sob Harry shook his head. Closing his eyes, he continued holding onto Charlie as if he were the only lifeline in the room. 

"That's okay," Charlie said, shuffling the potion up onto the bedside table and returning his attention to Harry. "No more potions, that's fine. Take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere.”

Harry remained in this position for quite some time, hunched over, his face hidden in Charlie’s shoulder as the older man rubbed gentle circles on his back. Harry still felt as if his whole world had been turned upside down and shaken up, so he did the only thing he could do, and continued focusing on Charlie and nothing else, he let all his thoughts go, pushing them aside. 

He couldn’t process what was happening, his mind still trying to detangle itself. Feeling Charlie shift Harry let out a soft noise of protest, tightening his hold once more. 

“It’s okay, I’m just going to sit on the bed with you,” Charlie said, sitting Harry up straighter. "You don't have to worry about anything, all we're going to do is take care of you right now. Everything else we can deal with tomorrow. Just deep breaths." 

Resting his head against Charlie once more, Harry managed to take one deep breath then another. He wasn’t anywhere close to being calm, but he didn’t feel like he was on the verge of collapsing again, and that was at least progress. 

"That's good, Harry," Charlie said softly, holding him close. "Just one breath at a time and we'll get you there. I'm right here."

“...just don’t let go,” Harry said softly. 

“Never,” Charlie promised, wrapping both arms around Harry, he shifted the two of them back onto the bed so they were more comfortable. “Rest now, Harry, I’ve got you.”


End file.
